What is this...Once a month?

Hi all. I really meant to sign in to this like once a week or around there but it has been over a month this time and over a month last time. Oh well. Nothing to get down on my self about, just thought it would be another way to get things out in the open and to help keep this borderline crazy individual some what sane...Yeah, right.

I also wanted to start publishing my stories and poems, but with me not having a home computer right now, I have to depend on the local library (which is not bad) but it is only 2 hours per day that you are allowed to use them. I am using up my time these days with looking at different websites for a job.

I am still unemployed and getting really scared that I am going to get evicted. My unemployment ran out about 2 weeks ago and rent is due in a few days. The bills are not getting paid and I hate that feeling. Luckily, we qualified for food stamps until we get back on our feet but that only helps with the food, not the rent and other bills. If I could guarantee that I'd win the lotto for Illinois, I'd make a trip down there and spend my last 3 dollars on tickets. That would really help with the financial situation now...it would turn into other problems though, like finding all these "new relatives" and such. I'd really like to go to my landlord and plunk down a years worth of rent until the house was built...they'd probably poop their pants seeing that much money coming in from one person.

I am not spending near enough time writing these days as I've been hit with writer's block for the book (actually it is just at a part where it is too painful to go on right now as I am naming some of my abusers and without having a therapist on hand, I can't finish that part of it until I am in a better place emotionally.)

The wedding is set for May 6, 2006. Some of the plans are starting to come together, but we need some help paying for things (mom has not answered this question yet). Neither one of us wants an extravagant wedding or reception, just nice. Problem being is the list of guests is somewhere around 250 or more.

Mom is almost done with radiation and she looks good. She finishes up this coming week.

Sis and bro are struggling financially as well. If we won the lotto, I'd help them out a bit. Plus for the kids too. 12 and almost 4.

It is getting a little easier to talk about my dad now. It has been 8 months today since he passed away and for a long time I seriously wondered if I was ever going to be ok. My fam does not talk a whole lot about emotions and I am just one big ball of them and always have been.

Well, I think that is about all I have time for this time. Feel free to comment and I'll try to post more than once a month.