It's nearly February
It's nearly February and I know that I posted one last week sometime, but it feels like its been forever.
My grandpa passed on Friday evening (20th) and my mom, sis and I drove the 12 hours to New York to say goodbye. The drive was beautiful and I quickly got over my nervousness of my mother seeing me drive. I am a safe driver most times, but tend to speed a little bit when I am not paying attention.
The time there was too short and I felt incredibly rushed the whole time. We arrived Monday night, the wake was Tuesday evening, the funeral was Wednesday morning and we left Thursday morning. I did not get a chance to really spend a whole lot of time up there with my family that I have not seen in a long time. I got to connect a little with my aunt Heather (who is also a blogger! Hi!) and get to know her a little bit more. That was really cool. I felt a deep connection to her and felt that she really got who I am (which is a huge thing because most days I don't even know who that is). I'm glad that we exchanged info and hope that we can continue to grow closer to eachother through here and email-unfortunately, we live about a thousand miles apart otherwise we would be visiting more often too. And no, I am not just saying she is cool because she is going to be reading this, but because she really is cool and I felt like I actually belonged to the family when she was around.
I've been trying to write a little something to remember my grandpa, but for some reason, I am silent and unable to write. I feel like a large part of me is missing these days now that that side of my family is dying off. They are the ones that I felt most close with growing up (despite distance) and now both grandparents are gone, my dad being gone it feels like I am dying as well. I'm not really in a funk, I just am losing my family and it stinks.
The job search continues...got a few interviews set up, but not trying to get hopes up too much as I did not get one that I really wanted. Oh well, it's been a long time since I've worked and it's beginning to drive me crazy.
I heard from Jaysen recently. I wanted to pick him up on the way to New York (only about 4 hours in the wrong direction) and let him meet the rest of the family, but I guess we will have to save introductions for the wedding and make a trip out there afterwards for those who cannot make the trip. Anywho, he's doing well and really likes his job...problem being is that it doesn't pay much. I'm not interested in the money, but we have a lot to save for. Who knows...maybe I will get a phone call saying that I am the next Publishers Clearinghouse winner of a bunch of money. Then, I could fly everyone out for the wedding, put them up in a hotel and really have a nice wedding. I don't want a glam one, just nice, where all my family and friends can come and have some laughs.
Um...I need to get more of my writing on here. I am often inspired by sitting here reading everyone else's blogs and wonder why I am not getting a whole lot of readers on mine. It would help if I posted more often, probably, but it might help me get some readers if I post what I am really writing about. I am still trying to get over the hiding who I am person that I was raised to be. I want to let people into my little world, I just don't have much clue of how to do it. Any ideas? I'd love to post pics and other things, but I don't have a scanner or access to that kind of stuff. I have access to the local library for a few minutes each day that I come, but most of that is spent job searching, and talking to Jaysen when he's not working.
I will try to update again soon!
posted by Lisa Marie @ 9:21 AM
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